Friday, March 8, 2013

Are you in The Room?

Shifting my weight in the uncomfortable chair, I studied the big screen in the waiting room. I was looking for those magic words: "450831 in PACU."

You see, 450831 was our son, who was five years old at the time. He was away from us, in the care of strangers, having his eardrum repaired due to multiple ear infections, unsuccessful surgeries and a round of MRSA.

The doc told us the procedure was fairly routine, should take about an hour, and then we could see him. Now, creeping toward two hours, my mommy arms were itching to hold my baby. And God was getting an earful.

Hubby and I watched as parents, families, siblings who came into the waiting room after us were told that their loved ones were out of surgery, everything was fine and they could see them in a few minutes ... we saw their bodies relax and smiles spread across their faces as they were told they could see their child/spouse/brother now. We watched as 450831 still said "Pt in OR" on the big screen.

And we waited some more.

Finally, the magic words appeared, and a bit later the doc arrived. WHEW! He walked over to tell us, I assumed, that everything was fine ... instead he said, "Let's talk in here" and he opened The Door.

The Door to The Room.

Some of you know what I'm talking about. The one with the sign that says "Consultation." The one the docs take you into when they are ... well, let's face it ... afraid that what they have to say will cause you to freak out.

Yep ... That Room.

I had been in That Room only one time before ... at a different hospital ... over 10 years earlier... and the news I got was earth-shattering.

I don't have warm fuzzies for The Room.

So, you can imagine the crazy somersaults my gut was doing as I walked in and dropped into an even more uncomfortable chair and grabbed Hubby's hand.

The doc started with "the surgery went well" ... then why the HECK are we in here?! ... and then the BUT ... in this case, "but the damage to his ear was more extensive than we thought."

Deep breath. Remember to breathe.

Apparently, the MRSA had done a number on his ear ... it had completely eaten away his eardrum and had started on his ear bones. Two of the three bones were disconnected (NOT good) and were already showing signs of being eaten away as well. Chances were high that he would have at least moderate hearing loss in that ear, with the possibility of replacing his ear bones with prosthetics in the future.

Not really what we wanted to hear.

Have you ever been in The Room? Maybe you are there right now ...

...watching your husband go through chemo, waiting on that dreaded diagnosis, wondering if your child will ever come back to you, worrying about how you will pay the bills...

Even though it may not feel like it ... feelings will lie to you ALL. THE. TIME. ... remember that Jesus is right there in The Room with you. He's got his arms wrapped around you.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

 He's crying right along with you.
Jesus wept. - John 11:35 (NIV)
Jesus ugly-cried with gut-wrenching sobs. The God of the universe, the Creator of all things, was overcome from human pain and loss.


And remember ... He has big plans for you ... though chances are, they aren't the same plans you have.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
You might not be able to see the big plan in your overwhelming situation, but it's there. This pain is just one strand in the beautiful tapestry of your life. We are jars of clay; but He handles us with care.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. - 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 
Our little man still has ear problems 3 years later. But he has normal hearing in that ear ... God healed the bones and his eardrum is beautiful (never thought an eardrum could be beautiful ... but it is).

I don't know how or if God will solve your problems, but I know He isn't leaving you to go through them alone.

He loves you.

Linking up with The Better Mom Mondays Link-Up at The Better Mom.


  1. Beautiful.

    That picture of you and I have a love-hate relationship. I love your mommy heart. I hate the pain you're feeling in that picture. It tears me up every time I see it. And I wore makeup today. Rude. --AC

  2. I know, girl. That was a pretty yucky day. But that picture is amazing ... tells it all in one shot. Ol' Hubs did a good job with that one!

    And, I did NOT post the "little toes sticking out of the blanket" picture just for you.

  3. Thanks! Good stuff...real stuff...the stuff! God will always be there and His plans are not our plans and like the song says "I don't know what You're doing but I know who You are!"

    1. Love that song! Thanks for the props, mojo sistah!

  4. My youngest now 13 has had 8 ear surgeries on her left ear.
    She also had MRSA in her ear but luckily not as much damaged occurred as your little guy. Her eardrum will always look funny during check ups though (her last surgery was a tympanoplasty) I always comment to our pediatrician, "How does her ear look?" She always responds "as good as it ever will." LOL

    1. Man! I thought we were the only ones to go through all of that crazy! Glad your kiddo (hopefully!) has all of that behind her.


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